and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
