He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
meet me or not, i'm out of control
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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