I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
