I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
where does the pee come out of this thing
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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