How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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