We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
