He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
