I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
