i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
