Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize