I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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