I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
