Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
