I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
