Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
