garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
