Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize