i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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