well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
