Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
