she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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