i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
