I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
