If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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