Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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