I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
