He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize