Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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