She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
