Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
