Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
