she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
