i think my tv is drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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