She said her name was "party"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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