She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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