I think I am morally bankrupt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
