Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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