His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
