If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
