Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
