My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I came so hard my ears popped.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
