I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
