Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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