my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
