I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
