It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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