i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
