There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
