remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize