I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
