What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
tell me about the fingering
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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