Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
