I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
