Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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