I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
