ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
