I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
