my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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