I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
