Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize