Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
