Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize