i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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