Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
