Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Houston, we have a squirter
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
