So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Two words: nipple clamps
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