Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
