I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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