using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
