There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
