Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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