the condom got lost in my hair
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
