Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
