people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
MIDGETS
????
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
