P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
